I definitely battle with abandonment. My dad left for good when i was 2. I didn't officially meet him until i was 23. My adopted dad left too. Every best friend or great love i have ever had has left me either for a long period of time or permanently. Ive been told im too sick for people or i dont fit in to their lives. Friends of 15yrs and 22yrs have told me this.
I feel expendable. I'm no one's 1st choice. I'm fine to be around if there's nothing else to do. And if they don't see a need for me, it's nothing to them to toss me to the side. I feel unimportant. Ultimately, i feel alone. And i think it's why i distance myself emotionally from everyone and isolate myself. Because i know they'll just hurt me in the end.
